


Between the Shadow and the Soul

by awintersrose



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftercare, Blindfolds, Established Relationship, F/M, Femdom, Past Torture, Post-Canon, Romance, Rope Bondage, mention of PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 06:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17975861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awintersrose/pseuds/awintersrose
Summary: Intimacy is not something that can be measured by physical action. Sakura pushes Kakashi to the edge of his limits, and brings him back to a safe and special place.





	Between the Shadow and the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally meant to be part of Tumblr's Valentied Day event, so I am a little late to the party, but better late than never! Also a shoutout to @itslulu42, who I have been teasing with this premise for roughly a year. Hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Special thanks to shipcat and Krikee who always give me an ear and an edit when I need them most! Love you guys <3

To think it had all begun with laughter over a half double crochet stitch, when now she is about to tie his arms in double column knots.

Sakura shakes away the errant thought, pushing her long hair over one shoulder as she looks into his eyes and asks again, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

The side of his uncovered mouth quirks slightly, not quite a smile, but his dark eyes still seem somehow amused with her concern despite the shadows that hide within them. Shadows that Sakura has never quite been able to touch, regardless of the last months of new intimacies they’ve traded.

“I told you I wanted to try. I trust you.” Kakashi says evenly. “And if you trust me, then you know I am more than capable of tapping out if things become too much. Think of it like a spar.”

Sakura fiddles with the hank of wine colored jute rope in her hands. It is well-conditioned, softened with jojoba oil and hours of use, and she is well practiced in shibari techniques and forms, but her concern is not one of method or artistry. Neither of the two are new to these games of power, of balancing dominance and submission, nor were they prior to coming together as a couple, much to Kakashi’s surprise.

Among shinobi, such things are more commonplace than anyone ever talks about, especially after years of peacetime, when many veterans have been left with the need to seek risk or the thrill of an adrenaline rush in ways that they cannot get on missions or in battle. Yet with these games come new considerations, traumas, and in their case, activities always left untried because of them.

“You have never been bound like this for play before, and you want to be blinded! Let me be a little concerned?”

“Yes, yes, Mistress. It is Mistress today, isn’t it?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, and she thumps his shoulder.

“You know it is, Kakashi-kun.” Sakura pinches his cheek, her green eyes narrowing. “Safe words before the blindfold.”

“Green, good. yellow to check in, red to stop, Mistress-mine.” he sighs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

“Impertinence will get you nowhere, Kakashi-kun. In fact, it will only ensure that I strip  _ after _ the blindfold is on.” she presses a hand to his chest, shoving him back against the pillows.

Kakashi gives a small groan at that. “Wicked and unfair.”

“And  _ that _ is exactly how you like me these days.” Sakura grins, hiking her skirt up to her hips and moving to straddle his waist. “Hands up on the bedframe, and do remember to be respectful. I’d hate to have to punish you, Kashi-kun.”

“Maa, Mistress Sakura, what if I want to be punished?” he lilts, sharp canines glinting in the dim light as his smile becomes more evident.

She knows he has the slight advantage of tracking each change in her scent, as it gives away every bit of the excitement she’d like to pretend she has under firm control. Sakura knows she is just as eager as he is to see this experience progress to its intended mark; fortunately for them both, she is capable of holding back a bit more than he is. Denial is fun for her because of the way it drives him to utter distraction.

“Then perhaps I should make you beg for it, puppy.” she whispers, leaning her weight forward to pin him with one hand, while tossing the bundle of rope up and down in the other.

“By the way, that reminds me, you’re missing something.” Sakura grins, setting the rope down and reaching off to the side.

“I am?”

“Of course you are, and you know it.” She lifts the wine-red leather collar from the bed beside them and spins it by the o-ring. “A good puppy needs a collar after all.”

His dark eyes dilate, fixing on the sight of the collar, and her own heart speeds in answer. Sakura know beyond doubt that she has his full attention now. When they play, it often seems he needs a symbol of permission, a trigger to signify his transition into her authority, and nothing achieves this more than the very moment she slips the buttery-soft leather of his collar around his throat and locks it securely into place.

“Thank you, Mistress,” Kakashi murmurs without prompting as the tiny lock snaps closed with an audible ‘click’.

Well, it looks like one piece of training has been extremely successful, and it is as if something in the air between them shifts minutely. Tangibly.

Sakura smirks in satisfaction, leaning forward to drop a kiss upon his nose. “Good boy. Now, hands up like I told you, or I really might have to punish you, and it won’t be a fun one.”

Obediently, he reaches up to grip the headboard, eyes fixed on hers, with the barest hint of a hot flush beginning to stain the tips of his ears, a testament to the beginning of a scene that should prove to be a new exploration for the both of them.

Kakashi has never been bound by a partner with more than words, nor blindfolded for any purpose of a carnal nature. After a lifetime of service as an elite Jounin, ANBU, and Kage with experience in both capture and torture, the prospect of turning himself over to another in this respect has always been too much of a guarantee of a traumatic flashback. Which has previously been a risk he has never been willing to take. Until now. Each experience being taken in hand by Sakura has opened him to new heights of intimacy and pleasure that, well, he’d never hoped to know in this life.

He’d already outlived his anticipated expiration date after all; that he made it past the age of thirty was a bonus in and of itself.

Asuma once said he had the emotional awareness and intimate aptitude of a rock. Even Gai, in a rare moment of near-pessimism whilst drunk during their hot springs vacation, patted him on the shoulder, and admitted that perhaps his dear rival was just meant for celibacy and a future of asceticism. That night, Kakashi was nearly set upon believing him, and never might have guessed that one week later an attempt at finding a hobby upon doctor’s orders could lead him to starting a true friendship of worth with his former student, and then that friendship might lead to a relationship and then...this.

Sakura’s gaze is devious and direct, her sultry green eyes alight with mischief as she tilts her head to the side for a split second, watching him, waiting. His anticipation is a delight, and she can feel the weight of his stare like something truly tangible, lingering along her skin like warm mist in the air.

“You know, Kashi-kun, I’d thought to perhaps fashion a little harness for you, let you feel a bit more of the rope along your skin, like a real rope bunny. Tie your arms behind your back and leave you helpless for whatever I wanted to do to you.” Sakura edges close, lips brushing his cheek as her fingers toy with the ring of his collar, tugging it lightly.

All the breath leaves his lungs in a rush and his spine loses a bit of its normal steely line.

“That does sound rather exciting, Mistress.” he says, voice hitching slightly as one of her hands moves to circle his right wrist and press her thumb along the fine bones there. “But am I right to assume you would like for us to walk before we run?”

“Right indeed.” Sakura moves to grasp his other wrist, bringing them together in one hand before reaching for the rope, which she releases from its bundle and begins to carefully loop around his joined wrists.

The rasp of the rope sliding through the bight she creates is the only sound apart from their hastening breath as she repeats the movement, neatly forming the knot she wants. One last pass secures it, and with a soft sound of satisfaction, Sakura uses the end of the rope to pull his arms forward and down over his head so that he can see her handiwork.

“I knew this color would look gorgeous against your skin, and I was right.” She runs her index finger along the banded lines of the cuff that the ropes have created and she feels Kakashi shiver minutely.

The expertly conditioned jute is a far cry from the rough hewn rope used by shinobi as part of their standard gear, and the double column knot is almost comfortable, hugging Kakashi’s wrists. He might even dare to say it feels good, especially like this. The constriction and the pull stirs a flurry of sparks deep within his belly. “Yes Mistress, I mean... it is your favorite color, should we be so surprised?”

Sakura gives the rope a tug. “You’re lucky I don’t find neon orange ones. Maybe I should. How does it feel? Too tight?”

“No, I’m good. Green.” he clarifies.

“Good boy. Such openness deserves a little reward.” Sakura sits back and unzips her form-fitting top, revealing her complete lack of a bra. “Oh, perhaps it was a bigger reward than expected. Think on this sight when I cover your eyes, won’t you, my puppy?”

Kakashi’s mouth is suddenly bone dry and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, digesting the sight of her bared to waist, but still mostly clothed, and endlessly tantalizing. He memorizes the view, though he knows it by heart, from her saucy expression to her pert, rose-tipped breasts and toned physique, down to the exposed battle scars that speak of her own personal strength. His lover, his Mistress, is simply incredible.

With deliberate slowness, Sakura bends forward, lifting the rope to suspend Kakashi’s arms above his head as she initially intended, securing the end to the bedframe. Her position places her breasts inches from his face, and the heat of his breath on her skin makes the room at least fifteen degrees hotter in an instant.

_ Self control, Haruno _ , she reminds herself, dragging her nails down the skin of his arms and chest and she draws back to pick up the leather blindfold, made from the same rich bullhide as the collar at his throat.

“Ask me,” Sakura commands, with no trace of a smile upon her lips, allowing her open shirt to fall from her shoulders and tumble to the floor.

“Mistress, will you take my sight and do with me what you will... according to your  _ pleasure _ ?” Kakashi asks, eyes meeting hers in subdued challenge.

The timbre of his voice makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, but Sakura simply smiles and presses a soft, seemingly chaste kiss to his lips, one that turns more passionate for several frantic beats of his heart. “I will.”

The padded leather is secured over his eyes with a few deft movements of her hands and darkness swallows Kakashi’s vision. He can still feel her, still smell her, luscious and warm and promising lascivious temptations straight out of his favorite novels; he holds to those thoughts, eager to make them real.

“It’s just you and me here now, Kakashi-kun. I don’t even have any implements this time. Not yet, not unless you want them.” Sakura nips his ear, running her tongue along the lobe as her fingers drift down his chest. “Just hands, and lips, and tongue. Sightlessness amps every sense into overdrive. And since some of yours are already a bit more sensitive, this is going to be especially fun.”

The viridian-lacquered nails of her free hand dally along the fluttering pulse at his throat, tracing tendons and the line of his collarbone as her hips pitch forward into his, grinding ever so gently into the arousal she can feel beginning to pulse in a hard line between her legs. A rush of answering heat swells low in the cradle of her hips, swirling ever lower, and her nipples tighten, ever more thrilling since Kakashi cannot see the effect his excitement has on hers.

But he can smell it.

Like the salt-sweet kiss of her flesh on his tongue, ripe and ready to be plundered, her scent is enough to make his mouth water. “It’s already very fun, Mistress. For you too, I think?”

“Ah-ah, Kashi-kun, don’t make presumptions for me. Not yet.” Her palm comes down in a loud crack along his bare thigh, more sharp in sound than in sensation, but even so his body jerks against the simple bindings in surprise.

“My apologies, Mistress.” The apology is slightly clipped as his breathing quickens with the sudden chastisement.

The echo of the sound remains in his hearing, altering his headspace enough to throw him into another state of being, and Kakashi finds himself hanging on her every word, every breath.

“Good boy. No harm done. Besides, without a little cheekiness, things would be boring.” Sakura rubs along the muscles of his thigh, initially soothing the slight sting, but beginning to tantalize.

“I’m going to explore you now, touch you all over, and your only task is to feel, and to try not to come.”

The hot press of her mouth drops open kisses over his heart before Kakashi can even respond, and wisps of her peach-scented hair brush his skin as she moves, her fingers making lazy patterns over his flesh, forcing goosebumps to rise, and his nipples to tighten.

“Thank you, Mistress,” he says quickly, and her delighted laughter sends a throb of heat straight to his aching cock as her lips and hands descend upon his body.

The sharper edges of her nails scratch harder along his chest, raking over his nipples, and the sudden pleasure-pain forces him to unconsciously buck up into her with a hissing breath. His task makes the challenge even more daunting as he hears the sound of a zipper come undone and the heat of her naked flesh press flush against his hardness, rocking at a torturously slow pace.

“You’re doing so well, puppy. I’ll have to keep you like this more often. You look especially cute when you’re bound and subject to whatever I choose,” Sakura whispers, her breath like a puff of steam in his ear.

_ Bound and subject to whatever I choose. _

All too quickly, the vision in his mind’s eye of Sakura deliciously nude and perched in his lap, promising the delights of a lifetime are dashed away and replaced with the memory of a Kusa interrogator who held him captive for thirty-six hours after an ANBU mission gone bad. The soft jute around his wrists is suddenly roughspun utility rope abrading his skin until it is raw and bleeding and the hands on his body are dealing pain and not pleasure. All at once, Kakashi’s chest burns, his ribs are broken and he can no longer breathe with his hands bound high, and he knows there are words he needs to say but for a moment he’s not even sure he can say them… they are there, somewhere outside his mind. They are there, but there is too much blood. Blood, colors...bright blood makes it stop...

“Red,” he whispers softly, eyes squeezed tightly shut beneath the blindfold.

When his body language begins to change, Sakura begins to suspect something is wrong, but with the safeword she is prompted to immediate action. She moves swiftly to cut the rope with a chakra pointed fingertip, removing the blindfold from his eyes. They were both prepared for this possibility, and knowing he may be caught in a partial flashback, she gently winds arms around him, pulling a soft throw blanket up over him from the foot of the bed. Nevertheless, mutual preparedness does nothing to make this moment any less jarring, and Sakura’s heart feels as though it might jump out of her throat.

It’s a very good thing she’s accustomed to life or death situations. Emergency medicine has primed her to act apart from her emotions.

“I’ve got you, Kakashi. You’re home, and safer than ever. You’re with me in Konoha, in our bed, and no one will hurt you on my watch, Kakashi. Never again.” Sakura says, voice resolute and sure. “I need you to breathe with me.”

Through the bloodstained haze, Sakura’s voice is his lifeline in the dark of his memory, and her touch is the warmth he clings to as she massages the tense muscles of his neck, guiding him through simple three-part breathing until old ghosts are not so near. When he finally gathers the strength to truly open his eyes, it is his lover that Kakashi sees.

“My apologies, Mistress,” he says, clearing his throat and gazing up at her, studying her expression.

“No apologies necessary, and it’s just Sakura right now, Kakashi,” she whispers gently, “The game is over. We tried, had a little fun ‘til things went sideways, and we learned where your edges are, that’s what matters.”

“I just, Kami, I just wanted...” the words he wants to say are on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t say them.

“Wanted what?”

“Wanted something between us that no one else could touch.” Out in the open, the words sound even dumber to his own ears than they did when he first thought them.

Sakura moves so that he can see her more clearly, and she extends a hand to touch his cheek. “Every moment between us here is something no one else can touch regardless of what we’ve had with other people in the past. You entrust yourself to me, and you show me your soul whether you’re bound or not. I don’t think that’s something that happens easily, if ever.”

Her fingers toy with his collar, just as she leans in to press a kiss to his temple. “Others may have had your body, but I don’t think they ever knew your soul.”

Kakashi stares at her, quietly stunned as she draws away, but she’s right. He could deny it, but not while he wears her collar. To do so would be a betrayal, and at this point in their lives, loyalty means everything. He takes her hand and lifts it to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“What will you do with such knowledge?” he asks quietly.

“Hoard it, of course. Like a dragon in a cave.” Sakura grins. “Safe, and only mine. Well, unless dwarves hear of a legend and come calling.”

“Clearly in that case you’ll have no choice,” Kakashi deadpans, and she kisses him, slow and sweet.

They rest together in companionable silence, warm and comfortable, until Sakura removes his collar and their scene is officially concluded. She tidies the bed of the shredded rope and discarded clothing, putting on a robe before opening the bedroom door to let their dog inside to join Kakashi on the bed. The dog, dubbed Maki since she was discovered as a stray puppy rummaging through the trash behind the sushi shop, had since became his latest nin dog in training and their house pet.

Sakura goes to grab some water from the kitchen and comes back to join them, cuddling warm and snug against his side. Kakashi runs a hand through her hair, regaining his bearings by slow degrees until he feels steady once more. Despite the premature end to the scene, there is an easy contentment between them, a perfect calm. And it’s a treasure he would not trade for anything in the world. 

He traces the stitches of the blanket, contemplating the pattern - a complex weave of slippery bamboo yarn that was a pain to work with, but ultimately rewarding in the end. He regards it now, a cloud of softness that surrounds them both in warmth, color, and simple beauty. “We’ll try again someday. It was worth it. Besides, I’m no quitter.”

“If you insist. Try, try again, Kashi-kun,” Sakura smiles, resting in the curve of his shoulder.

“I did crochet this blanket, didn’t I?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a kudos or comment if you did - I would really love to hear from you <3
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [awintersrose.tumblr.com](http://awintersrose.tumblr.com)  
> Or Pillowfort: [www.pillowfort.io/awintersrose](http://www.pillowfort.io/awintersrose)


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